49 FAMILY VIOLENCE AWARENESS I see signs of violence or abuse happening Taking action to help can save a life. STEP 1: Pay attention to your surroundings and the people around you. Look for attitudes and behaviours that put people down or that are aggressive, abusive or violent. Look for opportunities to intervene safely. STEP 2: Take action. You can help prevent abuse and violence by addressing harmful attitudes and behaviours. Do not put your own safety at risk. If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, get help. Call 911. • Show that you disapprove of harmful attitudes or behaviours by removing yourself from the group (refusing to be an audience). • Refuse to join in and discourage others from participating in abusive attitudes and behaviours. Point out the harmful, abusive, or violent behaviour you witness without passing judgment on the perpetrator. • Speak out. “I don’t think that’s funny.” “What you are saying or doing is wrong.” • Get support. Rally others nearby to join you. “I don’t accept this attitude or behaviour. It’s not okay with me. I hope it’s not okay with you either.” • Get help. Know what resources are available nearby or in the community to help prevent and address abuse and violence. You may be able to stop, interrupt or prevent abuse or violence by using safe and smart tactics to intervene. Do not put your own safety at risk. If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, get help. Call 911. • Be a good witness. Using words or your body, let the abuser and the targetted person know you are paying attention. Make a point of noticing details of what is happening. • Use distraction. If you witness someone being abused, ask the perpetrator for the time, clear your throat near them or do something else that distracts them from their behaviour. • Stand with the targetted person. Stand physically near them so that they and the abuser both know they are not alone. • Give control to the targetted person by speaking directly to them: “Are you okay?” “Are they bothering you?” Be ready to help if they ask for help, or to respect their choice if they don’t want help. • Trust your instincts. If you think someone is in danger, or if you are in danger, get help from police or security – or call 911. Community resources like those listed on page 75 77 can help. If I’m a bystander and care about preventing violence, what can I do to help? Acting to prevent or address violence does not always look like one heroic act. There are actions we can choose that fit our own safety, our personal style, our relationship with the victim or abuser, and the situation we witness.
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